Kids & Consumerism: Fighting Back

Kid: Mom, can I have this?
Parent: Not this time.
Kid: Come on please!
Parent: No, we’ve already spent enough money.
Kid: But Suzie’s mom bought it for her.
Parent: Well, I’m not Suzie’s mom.
Kid: Hmph, no fair!”

Sound familiar? Perhaps a little too familiar? If you’re a parent, you’ve inevitably found yourself starring in this little one-act play a thousand times. And yet, no matter how many times you’ve rehearsed your lines, it doesn’t get any easier to fill your role. Being the parent who says no is never easy.

To your little co-star, there is absolutely no justifiable reason for you to say no. It’s just mean, and completely unfair.

As a parent you know this is not the case. You have a budget to stick to, and even though you may wish you could honor your child’s every request, it’s just not possible. Sometimes you just have to say no.

In fact, it’s even important to say no sometimes. Otherwise kids will grow up thinking that they should get everything they want; and life simply doesn’t work that way for most people.

So, what can you do to put an end to all of the drama?

Well, if you’re like a lot of parents, you may think it is best to simply avoid the areas of the store that prove the most tempting. This would mean avoiding check-out lines with candy, and steering clear of the toy department.

In theory, this approach sounds great, but nevertheless it is a plan destined for failure. Keep your child away from the candy and toys and he or she will simply find something else to covet.

It’s how kids operate. Plain and simple.

That’s why you need a different approach-- one that is guaranteed to put an end to the drama once and for all. And it all starts with changing how you respond to your child’s request.

By now your child knows exactly how you are going to respond to his or her request. And your child is probably just as tired of hearing it as you are of saying it.

So don’t tell your child no for the millionth time. This time say, “Okay.”

Now I know this sounds like giving in; however, this is where we add a twist to the plot--one that will fix the problem, and save your wallet.

Strange as it may seem, you are going to say okay. However, you are going to add one more word to your response, and this one word is a real show stopper.

This time throw in the word “but.”

If your child is like most, the word “but” is an all too common part of his or her vocabulary.

“But Mom . . .”

“But what if . . .”

“But, everyone else is . . .”

So even if your child looks baffled at your response, you don’t have to worry that his or her look of confusion has come from a lack of comprehension. Your child knows what the word means.

Tell your child that s/he can have the toy, but that s/he will have to come up with the money.

Explain that there are lots of ways s/he can earn the money. Offer to pay for extra chores performed around the house, or suggest a lemonade stand or car wash. It doesn’t matter how the money is earned as long as your child earns it. By doing so, your child will learn that money is not easy to come by.

You might also take this opportunity to turn your child on to alternative methods of obtaining the item. Not everything has to be purchased at the store.

Suggest that he or she consider buying the item used for a fraction of the cost. Point out that finding a less expensive item means that he or she will be able to purchase the item sooner, and without having to work as hard. By doing so, you will be putting thrift into a context that children can understand.

If the item that your child is saving for cannot be purchased used, encourage your child to shop around at several competing stores for the best price.

Then take the lesson one step further, and follow up with the Sunday sales ads. Hand your child the stack of ads and let him or her check to see if the item is on sale. Be sure to point out store coupons if there are any that pertain to the item.

Only return to the store when your child has saved enough money to make the purchase him or her self. Then stand back and let your child handle the entire transaction. There is a lot to be said for having to hand over your own hard earned money.

This article originally appeared on Suite101.com

-Erin Huffstetler

  Erin Huffstetler is a freelance writer specializing in frugal living tips and tricks. Her work has appeared in numerous print and electronic publications including Family Circle, Guideposts For Kids and Pregnancy. As the stay-at-home mom of two young kids, Erin is always looking for new ways to live better for less. For fun decorating and craft project ideas check out Erin's "Trash to Treasures" and "Bead Making Basics" courses at Suite101.com.