Define Your Party Style

What is your style? Our livelihood and manner of living in regards to home, possessions, and friendships are always evolving, just as the world around us matures. With each decade comes new challenge and change. Instead of being a strictly couples-oriented society, we now have friends who are single, divorced, widowed, and the social order has altered the make-up of families many times over the past thirty years.

Successful parties are largely made up of the energy and confidence of the host but good events are also highly influenced by individuality. There are small parties held in studio apartments, grand fêtes on canopy covered lawns, intimate dinners for six, and rousing outdoor picnics for seventy. The way we share our personality, homes, and gracious giving can take place under the stars, under a shade tree, or under your own soaring roof. And it can be done by anybody on any budget. If you are celebrating your first home, a move to the city or a country estate, the essence of you and your hospitality are the same. (At least until you mature and hit another plateau.)

Let’s have some fun and define your entertaining style, which, in turn, will help to delineate and reflect a myriad of personalities.

The Impromptu Revelry:

While driving down a country road, a Kentucky native stops at Bob’s Market, a small, roadside community store buried in orange, red and yellow fall leaves and brimming with thick-skinned pumpkins and gourds. Inside, crusty, fresh-baked bread nestles on the counter next to shiny apples and jugs of homemade cider. Inspired by the crisp weather she buys baskets of produce, a few gallons of cider, some spices, butter and sharp cheese. On the way home she phones a few close friends, and invites them in for an evening. The first to arrive at her townhouse is a neighbor who starts a hickory-laced fire in the fiaffiliate, while others pull in and begin to spike the cider, and lay out a spread. A couple is inspired about ushering fall and confers on the design of a pumpkin; and a dozen apples are prepared for the oven. The cinnamon-and-clove headiness of the kitchen begs for the yeasty bread and cheese, and a game of dominos ensues at their leisure.

High Rise Hostess:

The busy city executive spends so much time in the air traveling to service accounts, that the minimalist atmosphere, large divans, and neutral palette of her apartment provide an almost Zen-like sanctuary. After eating restaurant meals with clients, she prefers fresh, healthy foods such as smoky grilled fish, crisp vegetables, and decadent chocolate deserts from a celebrated bakery a mere two blocks away. Entertaining for her is having several of her women friends, also professionals, wearing soft clothes and slippers show up, new CD’s in tow. They may make waffles or crepes with strawberry puree and whipped maple butter, and then settle in on modern suede-cloth chaises and floor pillows laid with mohair covers, to savor every bite. Exchanging stories of non-work related topics, fashion, the next vacation or the latest film, is followed by a gift-giving game—really more like favors—little treats this hard-working group needs much of: bath salts or sea scrubs, linen water sprays for cool sheets, or a nail color in Pale Passion pink.

Country Tea:

Their cottage is small and filled with loving collections of seaside memories. Using fine family linens on lacquered trays, tea and the accouterments are served on a shady wide porch filled with rockers and Adirondack chairs, some covered with quilts. After the summer repast, guests will repair to the sitting rooms and play several rounds of Pinochle, always in round-robin style, everyone sitting with each other at one time or the other. Prizes are handmade tchatchkes or crafts from the local flea market.

Young Rousers:

These couples meet at their church basement for potluck and hearty one-dish casseroles eaten off stiff paper plates, with plenty of cookies and cold sodas to wash it all down. The card tables are set with four chairs: dice, the Bunco bear, and the bell are at the ready. A rambunctious game with lots of chair changing makes for a lively evening with movement and ferocious chatter. Die-hard Buncites, this event has become a once-a-month ritual of fun, with not much to think about, except laughter and gaming.

The Golden Agers:

One retired from a good job, the other a veteran who has left an important military career, this couple finally has the money and the time to follow more leisurely pursuits. Their home sits lakeside in a planned community, and is decorated with artifacts from their annual trips to Europe. Picnics on their party barge, bridge with the regulars, or tailgate parties at sporting events, all help to fulfill their retirement dreams. Their style is relaxed and like-minded guests know they will be sampling time-tested recipes served with old fashioned finesse.

Energetic Engagement:

This Midwest couple does it all. Their children are active too, with sports teams, scouting and spelling bees. This stay-at-home mother delivers meals to shut-ins, anchors the Junior League auction, and shuttles the kids from here and yon. They hike together; swimming and family events are key. Parties for them are extended family reunions, visiting out-of-town family, traditional holiday events, and celebrations surrounding their children’s interests: team set-up and awards dinners, children’s birthday parties at various locales, and surprise parties for achievement or outdoor fun.

Modern Simplicity:

The cocktail hour and buffet is the perfect choice for this gregarious New York couple. They know a lot of people in publishing, but the party has a mix of the museum and art crowd as well, making this occasion busy, energetic, and interesting in approach. Guests wear the gambit from leather to lace and the little black dress is a mainstay. The bar is well-stocked and nonprofessional art students circulate with trays of bite sized appetizers and tidbits. At least one good-natured game or rousing surprise is played before the early evening dismissal, where guests will spill out into nearby restaurants to deconstruct the latest bestseller, or a covey will descend on the theater.

Upscale Perfectionists:

This Boca Raton couple is known for their posh parties and dress-up events. Heavy into theme, they may host a French Provencal wine-tasting one week, followed by a Caribbean night complete with gold lame palm trees, a steel-drum band, and drinks served with exotic flowers perched on the rim. No secret here, they have an unlimited budget and make use of the best party planners and event coordinators. Their guests are VIPs and even the occasional starlet or political analyst is present. A stucco mansion is the backdrop: cool aquamarine Mediterranean tiles are underfoot and everything is modern sleek, expensive and plush.

Upwardly Mobile Flair:

Dinners with this Boston couple are always formally imbued. Guests are surrounded by traditional furniture, pale garden roses, and everything glistens from the antique silver to the crystal goblets; and a diamond-like sparkle emits from the jewelry-laden chandelier. With elegance and good grace, the hostess always chooses the literati and erudite for guests, and conversation rises above the classical music that fills the air. Four and five-course meals are common and the favors are fresh flowers, little silver photo frames, or tiny boxes filled with petit fours. Gracious, unstuffy and relaxed, but—with a surprise. A special gift or acknowledgement for one honored guest.

Did you find yourself here? No matter. It’s easy to develop and learn your own party style, and notes on theme in a Party Journal will help you to discover it.

-Andrea Campbell

Great Games and Perfect Party author and expert, Andrea Campbell, lives in the bosom of the Ouachita Mountains in Hot Springs Village, Arkansas, a planned community with over 60 specialized clubs, rotaries, and organizations devoted to its populace. Many of them have tried out her parties and games.