Creative Wedding Planning for the Budget Bride

As trends and traditions change and the average age of couples getting married for the first time has increased, more couples are paying for their own weddings with little or no financial help from family members. After starting to plan their weddings they get sticker shock. With that comes a whole new breed of brides, the budget bride. This new breed of brides tries to find thrifty ways to still have the wedding of their dreams without going into debt. A new couple does not want to start their new life together in debt. All that money going into “that one special day” could be used towards a down payment on a house or a new car.

 In 2003 I was a budget bride. My husband and I had to plan and pay for our wedding with a pretty tight budget. We had a little help from our families, but 90% was coming out of our pockets. I started out like any bride to be with high hopes and that vision of “the perfect wedding”. Well, the perfect wedding was soon affiliated with what we could afford. Honestly it turned out perfect anyway, and would have no matter where we were or how much we spent because in the end, when we stood at the altar and looked into each others eyes, that was all that mattered. But like they say hindsight is 20/20 and when you are in the middle of it all you can’t always see clearly. So I hope I can offer some advice and creative solutions with the things I learned while planning my wedding.

When I started planning my wedding and getting price quotes, I was shocked to find out how expensive things were. I realized I needed to do a lot of research and get creative. I had to budget, shop around, compare prices, bargain, barter, and delete unnecessary expenses. I did have those “bridezilla” moments where I was stubborn and pigheaded and did not want to let go of the vision of “my perfect wedding”, but reality kicked in. I fully came down to earth about six months into planning when some choices had already been made and deposits were non refundable. It was too late to save money in some areas. I learned the hard way. I hope I can save some from making the same mistakes.

Where to Begin

Start planning by making lists of everything you want and need, a wedding planner book is helpful or you can get free checklists at many wedding planning websites. I pulled out the phonebook and looked up all wedding vendors and anything related that I might need. If they had websites listed I went online and checked them out. My computer and the internet saved me so much time while planning my wedding. I worked full time and couldn’t make it out to places before they closed, so online research helped me scout out much information. Plus you can find so much online that isn’t listed in your local phonebook.

Start networking with all your friends and relatives too. You’d be surprised at how many people you know, know someone who is connected to someone that can offer quality service for your wedding and possibly even get you a discount. For example my maid of honor’s cousin is a DJ, a mother of a boy in my son’s boy scout troop is a seamstress and does excellent and cheap alterations, my step sister’s friend makes beautiful cakes out of her home, and we got real lucky with this one; my husband’s sister owned a catering company and did all of our catering just for the cost of the food.

The Reception

One of the first things you will want to find is locations for your wedding and reception. If you belong to a church one of your parents belongs to a church, you can often get married at the church for free or for a small donation to the church or the officiate. I could have used my mother’s church for free, but there was religious conflict because my husband is Catholic and her church was not. Many churches also have a hall or banquet area that could be used for a reception, though most churches do not allow any alcohol, not even for the champagne toast. We ended up renting a non-denominational chapel and reception hall that was fully decorated. We probably paid way too much for it, but that was one area I decided it was worth it. We didn’t have to set up, decorate, clean up afterward, or pay extra for decorations. It was beautiful, convenient and close to home.

When you are shopping around for sites for your wedding and reception, be creative and don’t just look at places listed under wedding venues. Contact local parks that have beautiful gardens or gazebos, historical sights, museums, see what your area has to offer. Some times places like that will allow weddings for donations instead of outrageous fees. Just make sure you always get all the details; what’s allowed, what isn’t, how many people will the place accommodate, is alcohol allowed, is smoking allowed, are tables and chairs available, do you have to pay extra or bring them in yourself? These are all questions you need to ask and always get things in writing. You also need to find out if you need to provide liability insurance. Many places now require you to carry your own liability insurance to cover any damages that may occur. We had to have liquor liability insurance because we were serving alcohol at our reception. When we signed the paperwork the lady told us our home owners insurance should cover it, it didn’t. Through our insurance company we would have had to pay over $500 just for that one night. I found www.wedsafe.com online and only paid $180 for my wedding insurance. They also offer many other types of wedding related coverage.

Another option for your wedding and/or reception site is a hotel. Sometimes hotels will work with a couples needs, especially if you have a lot of out of town guests coming in that you offer to send to their hotel. Always bargain, if you say you a price is too high and start to walk away, you’d be surprised at how quickly many vendors will start dealing.

The Dress

The other main thing we start looking for when planning our wedding is “the perfect dress”. Start shopping online or look through magazines to get an idea of what style of dress you want. Check local bridal shops for sale dates and trunk shows. At designer trunk shows you can often get one of those dresses you seen in a magazine for a huge discount. Check your local area for consignment and resale stores or stores that are closing and want to clear out inventory. You might even want to contact a seamstress about having a dress made. EBay has a lot of brand new dresses at great prices. Check out their bridal stores, not just things listed under the auctions. I found the dress of my dreams on EBay for $99.00, it was even in my size. It was the same style of dress that had been $800 to over $1000 in the bridal shops. Unfortunately I had already bought a non- returnable, though beautiful dress off the rack for $415, still over a $200 discount from the tag price, but alterations ate up that price difference. I wish I had found that other dress first.

When shopping for attire for the rest of your wedding party, be cautious. You don’t want to make your friends and families spend a fortune either. Tuxes are usually easy, check the rental shops, get prices in writing, then go to another shop. They will compete for your business and beat the other store’s prices if you have a quote in writing. They almost always give the groom free rental and if you have a lot of guys in the wedding party they often give you a bigger discount. For your bridesmaids, think outside the wedding box. Go to regular women’s clothing stores, department stores like Sears and JC Penney. If you are having a spring or summer wedding you could use those filmy sundresses if you can find them in the right colors and sizes. Dresses like that are a lot cheaper and your bridesmaids will thank you because they’ll have a dress they can actually wear again. Check online for discounted bridesmaid dresses and check eBay for deals. I’ve learned to always check eBay first, no matter what I’m shopping for. I can usually find a great deal. I bought two flower girl dresses from eBay for less than $100 altogether. The same style of dresses I found in bridal shops for over $150 a piece. Frilly spring and Easter dresses often work very well for flower girl dresses too. Look at the styles offered at bridal shops then go to stores that are not bridal vendors so you don’t get the bridal mark up prices. I found a white crepe and satin dress with a jacket at Sears on the clearance rack for $34.00. It was very similar to Mother of the Bride dresses offered at bridal shops for around $200. My mother looked great in it and loved the price. Shoes can be found just about anywhere. In spring and summer Payless always has a great selection of white and ivory shoes, plus they usually have a lot of brightly colored shoes or you can get doubles and still spend much less than if you purchased shoes from a bridal store. Plus if you’re wearing a really long dress, no one is really going to see your shoes anyway, why spend a fortune on them. If you want a beautiful tiara and veil you can find tiaras on EBay for as low as $5.00 then get a veil at Michaels or JoAnn’s for around $15.00 and attach it to the tiara yourself of have someone that’s handy with a needle and thread attach it for you. You don’t have to spend over $100 for a fancy tiara and veil. They don’t cost that much to make. If you can’t find one on EBay that you like shop around for wholesalers online, or check little boutiques in your area that are not bridal oriented. Michaels and JoAnn's sometimes have some nice ones too, though theirs are usually over $30.00.

Food and Alcohol

Food and alcohol are two major expenses you can creatively cut. Consider holding your reception at a time of day that you won’t be required to offer a full dinner. Just offer light snacks or hors' devours. Skip the alcohol and problems it can cause altogether and just offer coffee, tea, soda, punch, and lemonade or to have some alcohol just have a champagne toast and offer liquor shots during the dollar dance. If you do plan on having a dinner reception and do not have a caterer at your disposal or in your budget consider having a type of potluck where your closest family and friends can prepare and bring dishes that you request. My friend did this for her wedding and the food was just as good if not better than a catered event. If you do opt for catered service, at the very least forgo the sit down meal for a buffet, it costs more to have everyone served than it does to have your guests serve themselves. You’ll save by not paying as much for the catering staff. It takes more staff to serve everyone. You can also save a ton of money by not renting china table settings and silverware. When I discovered the cost of renting china and silverware I almost had heart failure. Your guests will not be insulted by eating off paper plates and using plastic silverware. I found color coordinated plates, bowls, cups, silverware and napkins at a dollar store and they worked out great. I wrapped the silverware up in the napkins and tied bows around them and placed everything in pretty decorated wicker baskets on the buffet table.

Wedding Favors

For wedding favors to put on the tables for guests I bought tulle circles and ribbon from a dollar store and wrapped up tiny pewter castles I bought on EBay. My wedding theme was fairy tale and I wanted something unique for favors. I found the castles and bought around 125 for less than $30.00. I made my own tags to attach to the favors, on my computer. For centerpieces I bought mirrored tiles at home depot and put clear glass bowls on top of them filled with glass rocks, water, and a floating candle. Cheap and elegant centerpieces. I bought the supplies cheaper than it would have been to rent the same type of things from a party rental place.

Wedding Cakes

I found a lady online that made wedding cakes out of her home. We got a 5 layer cake, complete with a fountain and staircases for less than $200. This was a cake that would have been over $700 at a bakery. The cake was absolutely beautiful and delicious. We received so many compliments on the cake. Each layer was a different flavor, some had fillings. She even gave us boxes to put the extra cake in, and a special box to put the top in to freeze.

Don’t be afraid to work with people that operate from their home. They can often offer the same quality service and products without the expensive price tag that comes from a storefront operation. Just ask for references and samples of previous work to make sure they are reputable and legitimate. Don’t be afraid to shop at dollar stores and discount stores like Wal-Mart. Many stores now have their own little wedding sections that offer decorations and favors and other wedding supplies. Even Office Max and Office Depot have supplies you can use for your wedding like blank invitations you can design and print on your computer.

Technology has made things easier for you too. Especially if you are good with a computer or have some friends that are. Instead of paying a photographer and videographer thousands to preserve your wedding memories enlist the help of a few friends that are into their digital cameras. You can have them take photos and video and even have them edited on the computer. Other options could be finding student photographers that need to build their portfolios and only charge for the price of film and development costs. Or placing disposable cameras on all the reception tables and having a few people videotape everything that you can later have professionally edited. At the very least shop around for a photographer that won’t eat up your retirement fund. I called one place and their “basic” wedding package started at $3000. I dropped the phone. I finally found a photographer that offered me a great package with my proofs, 25 5x7’s and more for under $600. Plus I used disposable cameras and had several friends videotaping the event. Our memories were preserved.

Technology may also work to your advantage instead of hiring a high priced DJ. If you have access to a teenager or college student that’s into music, chances are they have a descent sound system, are quite capable of downloading any song you want and creating mix CD’s that they burn on the computer. A kid that worked with my husband burnt a CD for us with all our wedding music on, in order. We didn’t have to buy a bunch of CD’s or hire any musicians to play during the ceremony. Though we did shop around and find a good DJ for the reception. A mix CD also works great for favors, blank CD’s are pretty cheap, and so are the cases. All you have to do is create a cover. All that can be done on a computer. We made about ten copies just for our closest family members. I scanned the cover of our wedding invitation and turned it into a CD cover and customized it with our names and wedding date.

Flowers can be another big expense. I made all mine with silk flowers, most of which I purchased at dollar stores, Michaels, and JoAnn's. I spent less than $200 on all my floral supplies, including holders, stands, ribbons and other accessories, and I had seven bouquets to make. If you aren’t that crafty or just don’t have the time maybe you can enlist the help of a crafty friend or relative to put together your flowers. Other options include checking to see if you have a floral design school or class offered in your area. Sometimes schools and classes will do weddings just for the cost of the supplies because the students need experience. You could also buy fresh flowers the day of the wedding and  wrap them in ribbon to give you a simple but pretty bouquet. This also works well for centerpieces, fresh flowers in a vase are simple and elegant.

Limo rental is another expense that can be deemed unnecessary unless you get a really good deal. Borrow a car that is really nice or check and see if someone has a classic car that you could borrow or that they could drive you around in. There are always options.

Bottom line is it is your wedding and your money, you have to decide what you want, what you need and where you can cut costs. Never settle for a price that is outlandish, always try to negotiate. If a vendor will not negotiate, you can find someone else that will. Always keep an open mind and look for a creative solution. This is your wedding and you don’t have to plan it in the “wedding box”. Do not worry about what other people think it’s your wedding, your rules, your budget.

~Wenona Napolitano

Wenona Napolitano is a freelance writer and a trained bridal consultant and floral designer. She has helped plan and decorate many weddings, including her own.